


Warning guys! Theres some serious stuff in this!
The player takes on the role of 'The Postal Dude' (all evidence given in-game indicates that the character's full legal name actually is "The Postal Dude, Jr.": his father's tombstone reads "T. Dude Sr."; characters constantly call him "Mr. The Dude" and a package for him is addressed to "P. Dude"), a tall thin man with a goatee, sunglasses, a blue alien t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. The Postal Dude also wears a Happy Smiley pin on his right lapel and a cross pin on his left one. 'The Postal Dude' lives in a trailer park with his nagging wife (only identified in the credits as 'Postal Dude's Bitch') in the town of Paradise, Arizona (there was, in fact, a real-life Arizona mining town called Paradise, which failed in the early 20th century, but there's no indication in the game of any intentional connection).
The game levels are split into days of the week starting Monday and finishing Friday. At the beginning of each day, Dude is given several tasks to accomplish, such as 'Get milk', 'Confess sins', and other seemingly mundane tasks. The purpose of the game is to finish all of the tasks throughout the week, and the player can accomplish these tasks in any way he wishes, be it as civilly or as chaotically as possible (it is possible, if occasionally difficult, to complete most tasks without engaging in battle, or, at least, killing other people). The daily tasks can be accomplished in any order, and the game includes one task that is only activated on a certain day if Dude performs a certain action.
Dude must put up with being flipped the bird, mugged, attacked by protesters, put upon by an obnoxious convenience store owner/terrorist and his patrons who cut before Dude in the "money-line", plus a marching band, a murderous toy mascot named Krotchy, the police and SWAT team, the ATF and the National Guard, a religious cult, savage butchers, psycho Taliban terrorists, and Gary Coleman, among many other things.
The town features many cars but they are all "useless exploding props", according to Dude, and cannot be driven, although they can be blown up and sent flying into the air. In addition to cats and dogs, other animals present are elephants and cows; these animals can be shot or set on fire—or simply annoyed by the player walking into them—causing them to trumpet with rage and attack anyone within stomping distance. A bizarre feature is the ability to pick up cats as an inventory item. When used, the Postal Dude shoves the barrel of the currently equipped firearm into the cat's anus (cats can only be used while equipped with a shotgun or assault rifle) as a 'silencer'. Every time a shot is fired, the cat meows in apparent agony, and the gunshot is muffled. After several shots the cat will be killed and will fly from the end of the weapon. Most dogs have the ability to befriend the Dude if he feeds them a continual supply of dog biscuits or feeds them any other food (pizza, donuts, fast food). Once a canine's loyalty has been earned, the dog will attack anyone who attacks the Dude, or alternatively, anyone whom the Dude attacks. Dogs will also chase and kill cats, and play fetch with the Dude's inventory items and also severed heads. There were also going to be cows included in the game, but were left unprogrammed. They did appear in Apocalypse Weekend and the A Week in Paradise mod.
Minimum Requirements
Windows 98 / ME / 2000 / XP
733 MHz Pentium 3
128 MB RAM
8x CD-ROM
32 MB GeForce2-class
DirectX 8.1 compatible video and sound card required
CONTAINS POSTAL 2, AND ALL ITS EXPANSIONS

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